Reality – Lead with the Lights On

Why Reality Is So Easy to Miss

Leaders are human. And humans are wired to:

- Avoid pain

- Protect their egos

- Create stories that make us feel safe

Which is why we:

- Filter bad news

- Surround ourselves with people who agree with us

- Use success in one area to hide failure in another

It’s not that we’re lying on purpose. It’s that we’re unconsciously managing our image instead of our outcomes.

Leadership = Uncomfortable Clarity

Facing reality is leadership work.

It requires:

- Humility – admitting your plan might be broken

- Courage – asking the hard questions

- Self-awareness – checking your blind spots before they check you

Teams don’t expect you to be perfect. But they do expect you to know what’s really going on.

3 Powerful Questions for Reality Checks

Here’s a tool I use constantly with teams and myself. When something feels off, when momentum slows, when the story gets fuzzy—ask these three:

1. What is the real situation, without excuses?

Strip away the spin. Take out the politics. Name the truth—clean, unqualified, unfiltered.

If a stranger walked in today, what would they see that you’ve stopped noticing?

2. What am I pretending not to know?

That toxic employee. That lagging product. That customer you won’t confront. Leadership means turning the lights on.

3. What would I do if I had no fear?

Often, we do see reality… but we don’t act because we’re scared. This question helps push you from observation to decision to movement.

Story from the Field: The Inflated Pipeline

I once worked with a sales leader who was killing it—on paper. Big pipeline. Aggressive projections. Everyone clapped.

Behind the scenes? It was all smoke. When reality hit the revenue line, excuses started. We cut the fluff, rebuilt discipline, and earned back trust.

The result? Not just quota—credibility.

Why Leaders Avoid Reality

Early in my career, I hated bad news. I saw it as a reflection of me. That mindset made me defensive—and problems got worse.

Eventually I learned:

Facing reality doesn’t make you weak. It makes you serious.

Your Reality Challenge This Week

1. Identify one area you’ve avoided.

2. Ask the 3 Reality Check questions.

3. Make one move. Have the conversation. Pull the data. Name the thing.

Start where you are. Don’t wait for perfect. Just move forward—zero to something.

Reality Makes the Other R’s Work

If your Results aren’t hitting… if Resources feel tapped out… if Roles are blurry…

It might be because you’re skipping Reality. This is the foundation that keeps your leadership system honest.

Final Word

Great leaders don’t fear the truth. They seek it, speak it, and act on it.

Because that’s what separates a performer from a pretender.

Let’s turn the lights on. Let’s lead like we mean it.